If I had a dollar for every time someone directly or indirectly asked me this question...I'd have thousands of dollars. JK. Only hundreds, but you get my point.
WARNING: You may not agree with what I'm about to say on this question, that's fine. When reading, please remember this is why I don't live with my husband. Everyone is different and one size doesn't fit all. I mean no offense. <3
When Brian and I first started dating almost 6 years ago, I had 2 jobs. Since then I haven't had less than 2. Max has been 5, with the average being 3. I don't take for granted being able to work or being able to work multiple jobs. I enjoy being able to financially provide for all my needs and some of my wants. I find value in the work that I'm doing. Most importantly, I feel my jobs provide a greater purpose for the skills I've acquired through school and past experiences, in and outside of my work environments.
Remaining in VA to work within my career field will [hopefully] afford me greater opportunities for career-specific work when I do finally live with Brian. That is one of the primary reasons I remain where I am. I don't, at present, see myself as someone who will be ok NOT working and I'm not on the stay-at-home mom train right now either. For us, Brian included, having the opportunity for me to continue my career wherever we are stationed is important. I am aware that this may not be possible at some point. All I can and will do is everything in my power to make sure I've capitalized on all career-specific opportunities afforded to me until then.
I realize most people harbor good intentions when telling me why I should live with Brian, but I still find it ironic. The irony comes from the assumption that I can't fully support my husband and foster our marriage without being in the same physical location. As a military spouse I think it's even more important to be able to manage your family and support one another while apart. That'll be the nature of our relationship moving forward, especially as a pilot's wife. At least that's what I've been told. He WILL be gone throughout our marriage. During those times I don't plan to let it [figuratively] separate my family, tear apart our marriage or minimize my support for him. So why can't choosing to live apart mean the same?
That's just my take on things though. When I asked Brian for his POV on why we live apart he gave me the short and sweet Brian version:
1. You wouldn't he happy here doing nothing.
2. You deserve to pursue your dreams too. As your partner, I should do what I can to make that happen.
3. You went to school for a reason. Use those degrees.
Love that man of mine. All in all, B and I are satisfied with our decision to live apart. We're both able to pursue our career endeavors and support each other and our marriage along the way. It's not easy, there are definitely pros and cons to the geo-bachelor life (I'll share those next week), but it is worth it...to us...for now.
Follow
No comments:
Post a Comment