The Recap - First Wedding Anniversary

PINTEREST. SAN ANTONIO.

Brian and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary on July 7! It's hard to believe a year has passed. Year 1 of long distance marriage complete. Woohoo!! HOPEFULLY we only have one more full year of the long distance thing. Prayers up! For our anniversary day, we spent most of the day in Corpus Christi because Brian was on the schedule for a morning flight. When I went to pick him up I gave him his homemade anniversary gift. My first Pinterest inspired DIY project success! It was effectively a jar that contained (1) Reasons why I love him, (2) Quotes about various things related to us, (3) Memories I love about us, (4) Songs that remind me of him and I, and (5) Encouraging quotes, phrases and passages. He loved it!! I gave myself brownie points for actually tying my present into the anniversary year 1 theme: paper. Pretty sure Brian knows nothing about anniversary themes.

DIY Anniversary Jar - Front 

DIY Anniversary Jar - Back

After some down time we went to an early dinner with another couple. What?! You shared your anniversary dinner with another couple? Uhhh...yes. While my trips to TX are for Brian and I to spend time together we also like to be social and spend time with our friends, as couples, so sharing a Hibachi dinner with friends for our anniversary was just fine by us! Following dinner Brian and I headed out to San Antonio for the remainder of the weekend.

I had reserved a hotel at Fort Sam Houston sometime early in the year. Not exactly sure why I booked the hotel that I did [probably because it was cheap] but when we arrived Brian could tell I wasn't thrilled. It wasn't dirty or poorly kept. It was just old. Old bathrooms.Old carpet. Just old. Fairly certain the hotel was/is used for barracks. I tried to hide my dissatisfaction but I'm not very good at that. Brian offered to change hotels for Saturday night but I told him it was ok. Needless to say I didn't get the best sleep that night. Brian slept like a baby. He has no problems sleeping in ugly or old places. I shouldn't have had an issue with this place but I did and it carried my mood the entire time we were in the hotel. Sorry Brian!

The next day Brian picked a place for us to go hiking, per my request. We set out for Eisenhower Park and hiked the long loop. It was a good time talking and walking. We got a couple good views of landscape but mostly just hiked amidst trees and rocks. After hiking we grabbed lunch and headed to the hotel for showers (and a nap for Brian). By this point we had decided we would head back to Corpus after dinner, so we checked out of our hotel a night early. From there we headed to the Riverwalk. The plan was to catch a movie, enjoy the Riverwalk and head to dinner. Those plans didn't happen. To our surprise seats were assigned at the theatre so the only seats left were in the front row. Instead of breaking our necks, we decided to forego the movie. Cue my attitude. As we walked the Riverwalk in the heat my attitude rose with my body temperature. My attitude finally subsided after some ice cream and an apology to Brian. I must have been hot and hangry. After my hot mess had chilled we ventured to the Alamo where Brian got his history fix.

Eisenhower Park

Eisenhower Park & Brian

After the Alamo we hopped back in the car and headed to dinner at Pappadeaux's. BEST SEAFOOD RESTAURANT I'VE BEEN TOO SO FAR!! It was delicious! Brian agreed. We headed home to Corpus after dinner, cutting our weekend trip short by one day.

All in all I had a good time with Brian but in the future I plan on splurging on anniversary hotels and reminding myself to keep my attitude in check whenever I find myself hot and hangry.

Where Did Your 2017 Cruise Take You?

Western Caribbean: Mexico. Grand Cayman. Jamaica.

How does time go by so fast?!?! I've neglected to post about this trip [or anything else] in over 2.5 months. My bad. Life has been crazy (in a good way). I promise to get better. Starting now.

In March, B and I took an impromptu cruise. 11 days prior to the cruise's departure date Brian tossed out the idea of taking that specific cruise...in 11 days. I quickly hit him with an eye roll and a "boi bye", but this was over the phone so he didn't see the eye roll. I'm sure it was implied.  A for effort on B's part BUT I'm a planner and 11 days to plan, book and prepare for a cruise is not my thing. Turns out I can be persuaded and wouldn't you know it's not all about me. GASP. After a day or 2 of discussions, B and my parents broke me down. Knowing the time B and I get to spend together on real vacation trips will be far and few between at some point, I reluctantly said "let's do it". I'M. SO. GLAD. I. DID.

B and I shared 7 days away from work [mostly] and our hectic schedules. We spent EVERYDAY together and it was well worth the money and uncertainty. B and I booked an excursion at all 3 ports. I'm not sure we'll do that again but it definitely gave us new adventures...

First stop was Mexico. There we went to an adventure park in Rivera-Maya Cancun. In order to get there we had to take a little boat to that area. For a whole 45 mins, I listened to my fellow passengers puke into barf bags. I'm a sympathetic puker so I had to plug my ears and clothes my eyes. Brian found this hilarious. I was not as amused. I made it though...with my breakfast still in my stomach. Once at the adventure park we went zip lining through the trees, zip lining into water, paddle rafting, riding on a dune buggy type thing and then more zip lining! It was a blast!! We napped so hard when we got back to the ship. Let me be honest though, I can nap just about any time. This just gave me an excuse.

Dune Buggy Cruising "safely"

Ziplining

Brian and Sheri - March 2017

Second on our agenda was Grand Cayman. There we did a Jeep Tour and beach day. We visited a place called Hell, drove on the left hand side of the road, tasted (and purchased) flavored Rum and got extra crispy on the beach. It was a relatively low key day. I know Brian was hoping for more off roading in our Jeep, but it was still a good time.

Beach Stop while on our Jeep Tour

In Hell w/ Brian

Last place we ventured was Falmouth, Jamaica. While there we visited Dunn's River Falls (gorgeous waterfall you can hike up) and went to a cultural spot and ate native food, watched dancers and relaxed.  As we were leaving Dunn's River Falls we had to walk through a market to get to the exit. Our tour guide informed us not to stop for people trying to sell us things, as that would make us lose the group BUT wouldn't you know my husband decided to forego that warning and stop and get us little personalized tiki men. So for about all of 1 min I freaked out thinking I'd lost my husband in this market and he was going to get left behind (because I was making the bus), but he showed up eventually and we can laugh about it now.

Sher aka Sheri Tiki

Our balcony view while docked in Jamaica

While on the ship/cruising we ate way too much, napped frequently, went to shows, worked out, and climbed the rock walls. We spent SO MUCH time together (for us). I'm so grateful B had the idea.

The Recap - March 2017

VACATION. QUALITY TIME. GROWTH.

March ended up being a whirlwind of fun! It exceeded and fell short of all my expectations. How so? Well, from my horizons post I wasn't expecting too much out of March: a few days of visiting Brian in FL, to take [and pass] my PMP exam, and to tackle spring cleaning. None of these things happened as anticipated...

I moved my PMP exam...again, due to work/weather concerns this time, but still that was definitely not part of the plan. If I'm being completely honest, I didn't care that much. I've got more time to study [and foster my anxiety...HA]. I'm mildly annoyed with myself for rescheduling but ultimately think it worked out well, given the surrounding circumstances.

I haven't done a thorough spring cleaning yet. I've managed to do some decluttering. Nothing major though. It's in the works.

Lastly, I managed to spend not just a few days BUT a whole 2 weeks and four days with Brian!! A couple days prior to my planned trip to FL, Brian recommended we take a cruise vacation. Sounded like a good idea, next logical question would be...when? To which he responded with a date that was 11 days after his proposal. Boy bye. No way in heck are we planning a cruise that's 11 days away! The planner in me was extremely resistant to the idea. Alas, a few pep talks from my friends, parents and Brian later I changed my tune. With 7 days to spare, we booked a 7-day cruise to the Western Caribbean and I'm SO glad we did. That fun adventure gets its own post though...


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Anniversaries & Flight Selection

MARCH 9...

...is a day for the books. It was a milestone in more ways than one for my little family of two.

March 9 marked the 1 year anniversary of the day Brian and I got engaged AND the day we started living 5 states apart. Yep. It's just as romantic as it sounds. B proposed 4 hours before I was on my flight back to VA from FL, and 1 hour before he had to leave for work. He's a man of many talents, timing isn't one of them. It was a bittersweet day, but an amazing one all the same.

Fast forwad EXACTLY 365 days later, Brian selected his flight platform on March 9, 2017. B found out that he will officially be flying C-130s for the the USMC!! C-130s were his first choice and I'm so thrilled for him that he gets to fly his dream aircraft. I haven't heard him this excited in a long time. Warms my heart to see his hard work finally pay off. I only wish I could have been there but the pic and video I was sent will have to do this time. Soon he'll be off to TX and I'll still be here in VA. The geo-bach timeline is winding down though...even if we still have about 1.5 years left of it!

Brian at his Flight Selection Ceremony (VT-6) 

On the Horizons - March 2017

VISITING BRIAN. PMP EXAM. SPRING CLEANING.

I feel like nothing new has really been going on these days. I work, workout, work some more, sleep and REPEAT. So while nothing new is currently going down, I have some things to look forward to in the coming month!

I haven't seen Brian since January 3rd, so we're due for a visit. In 1-2 weeks, I should be flying down to see him and I. can't. wait! While I don't know the exact date just yet, the plan is for me to fly down the weekend after he finishes primary flight school. I'm hoping for this weekend but based on the weather down there its not looking like he'll be able to get all his required flights in this week. If he graduates next week, the pressure is on me to decide whether or not to go. Why wouldn't I go?! Because the following Monday I take my Project Management Professional (PMP) exam and I KNOW I won't do any review while I'm down there. Brian says he'll make me study...yeahhhh right.

I've been studying for awhile to take my PMP exam, I've pushed back my test date a few times out of fear of failing, BUT I've finally decided to suck it up and go for it. If I fail, I fail and I reboot to take it again. I'm fairly confident I know my stuff  and I score decent on the practice exams but I still get anxious about under performing on the test. Regardless of the outcome, I plan to get my PMP certification by summer 2017. Pray for me!!

In March I also plan to tackle spring cleaning. This may not seem like a serious event to some, but to my organized, moderately obsessive self, it is. I'm looking to declutter and redecorate my closet and bedroom and provide these spaces with more organization. When I'm more organized, life is just better. Stay tuned for a post or two on how that goes.

What Are the Pros and Cons of Being a Geo-Bachelor?

PROS: INDEPENDENCE. FOCUS. FINANCES. APPLICATION. COMMUNICATION.
CONS: UNCERTAINTY. TRAVEL. INTIMACY. COMMUNICATION.

I am almost certain there are articles that present research based stats/figures as to what the cost and benefit of living separate from your spouse are or could be. This is not one of those articles. My pros and cons are strictly experience-based, from my own personal archive of experiences. Feel free to share your own in the comments!

I'll start with the positive aspects of geo-bachelordom <-- that's not a word:

• Independence. The great philosopher, Webbie, once said, "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that mean, mayne?". He's actually not a philosopher. He's a rapper. The lyrics to that song resonate with how I feel about myself though. Maybe not ALL the lyrics to that song...don't judge me. Moving on. Being a married woman who lives apart from her husband has definitely engaged my independent side MUCH more. I can and do do things for myself and by myself more often than not. I ask Brian for nothing because I can physically and financially take care of myself. That DOES NOT mean Brian doesn't provide or take care of me. He does. He's a giving unselfish man *cough* most days *cough*, but I don't NEED him to do or buy things for me. The same goes in reverse. We're both very much capable of functioning without the other. That sounds bad, but it's true. Don't read too much into it. All I'm saying is we can handle life without the other's physical and financial assistance. Now if you're worried about how we will coalesce once we do cohabitate, don't worry. We will judiciously utilize the power of compromise. If that doesn't work, he'll just do what I say. KIDDING!! *smug sideways grin*
• Focus. When Brian is not around I am SO. MUCH. MORE. PRODUCTIVE. Now this may be a 'con' of the geo-bachelor life because I feel like I'm less productive when I see him because all I want to do is spend every single second with him, but we're in the pro section so let me continue on that note. My productivity is amazing when Brian isn't around. I workout more. I work more. I'm more focused on my work and completing tasks.  I'm sure this will change and I will be able to be as productive and focused as I am with or without Brian around, but such is my life now. I also feel that my absence helps him stay focused on his flight school studies. Primarily because I'm not trying to make him scratch my back or spend time with me 24/7. When I visit him, I imagine [and can verify], he studies less. In conclusion, I think my absence benefits his test scores.
• Finances. Due to the fact Brian and I both work, our finances are not stressed. We are able to operate our budgets separate from one another. All this means is we can sustain our lifestyles, independent of the other's finances, solely because I am working in VA.
• Application. This is a HUGE pro for me. I spent the majority of my life in school. The usual K-12th grade years, 4 years for undergrad #1, 2 years for undergrad #2, and 2 years for my Masters. All that time in school and by golly, I want to apply it and get paid for it!! My certifications in Personal Training and Group Exercise offer me "side hustle" potential so that I ALWAYS have options, but I prefer working in the fields where my degrees are relevant and applicable. In VA I'm guaranteed that ability.
• Communication. This is on the con list too, but as for it being a pro..our communication has improved tremendously. We talk daily and have figured out better ways to communicate with one another. For example, Brian is a terrible texter. I used to get extremely offended and upset when he wouldn't respond or would take 8452894382 hours to reply. He now tries to respond to my text or at least acknowledge them and I'm less offended because I know he's busy with work, napping, working out or he really is ignoring me but will apologize later. If I really want to talk to him or share something important I know to email or call him. On the other end, I used to fall asleep on the phone or zone out and not listen to him. That irked him, and rightfully so. He now knows the signs of my tiredness and I know it's best to speak for only 5 min even if I wish we could talk longer. Quality over quantity on that one. It's not exact rocket science, but it's helped make each of us more excepting of how the other best communicates and remains engaged. I still get annoyed at times as does he, but we're growing our communication skills and that's a beautiful thing.

Moving on to the drawbacks of this lifestyle:

• Uncertainty. I'm typically never certain of the next time we'll see each other. We try to make it happen as often as possible but it really hinges on when I have enough saved up leave to get away OR he gets approval. It's one of the biggest issues we face when trying to see one another. We make it work, but it's proven extremely difficult to navigate a couple times.
• Travel. Now B and I both enjoy traveling BUT paying to see one another gets old after awhile. Especially flying in/out of Pensacola, FL. Small airport = bigger price tag to get/leave there. We do it and it doesn't kill us but it'll be nice when we don't have to fork out that money to see one another.
• Intimacy. I'm not going into excess detail here, but this encompasses more than just physical intimacy, people. It's emotional intimacy as well. Lucky for us, neither of us ranks 'Physical Touch' extremely high on our Love Language totem poles. If that were the case, I imagine this lifestyle would be harder to manage. It is hard not being able to be as intimate with one another as we'd like. I'm sure you can relate if you have a significant other that you haven't been able to see or touch in awhile. It's hard to not be able to hug or cuddle when all you know the other one needs is some reassurance more than just words over the phone. For us, touch is an automatic conflict diffuser/defuser?! It doesn't make the conflict go away but it does help soften us each up so that we're better able to communicate through the conflict. For example (and this is a VERY trivial one), Brian accidentally dried my LulaRoe leggings in the dryer. If you have LLR leggings and have done this before, you know this takes away the buttery feeling that makes them so well-loved. I know he didn't mean to mess them up, he didn't know any better, he was trying to help by doing the laundry AND he apologized, but I still mentally wanted to roundhouse kick him...Mortal Combat style. He then hugged me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. IMMEDIATELY, all I mentally wanted to do is flick him in the Adam's apple. Conflict defused. He still owes me a pair of leggings though. I haven't forgotten, Brian Edward.  Also violence is never the answer. I don't condone it. I'm just speaking my truths here. I realize I mentally overreacted. I do that sometimes.  
• Communication. While our communication has gotten better, it's not perfect. Text messages don't convey tone and phone calls don't convey body language. I MUCH prefer face to face communication with B, but it's not possible often, even when we try. We primarily talk when one or the other is driving too/from work or at night. Brian prefers to stay up late and sleep in. I opt for the 4 am wake up and 9 pm bedtime. While we only have an hr time difference, it matters. In the year that we've been living in separate states, I can count on one hand the amount of times we've done Skype/Google Hangout sessions. The struggle is real. Not THAT real, but I mean it's really annoying sometimes.  

So for us, the pros outweigh the cons. I didn't get Brian's opinion on this so he or I will comment those below sometime soon. Again, feel free to comment with your own experiences, advice and tips. I'd love to hear them!!

 

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Why Don't You Live With Your Husband?

VALUE. OPPORTUNITY. PURPOSE.

If I had a dollar for every time someone directly or indirectly asked me this question...I'd have thousands of dollars. JK. Only hundreds, but you get my point.

WARNING: You may not agree with what I'm about to say on this question, that's fine. When reading, please remember this is why I don't live with my husband. Everyone is different and one size doesn't fit all. I mean no offense. <3

 

When Brian and I first started dating almost 6 years ago, I had 2 jobs. Since then I haven't had less than 2. Max has been 5, with the average being 3. I don't take for granted being able to work or being able to work multiple jobs. I enjoy being able to financially provide for all my needs and some of my wants. I find value in the work that I'm doing. Most importantly, I feel my jobs provide a greater purpose for the skills I've acquired through school and past experiences, in and outside of my work environments.

Remaining in VA to work within my career field will [hopefully] afford me greater opportunities for career-specific work when I do finally live with Brian. That is one of the primary reasons I remain where I am. I don't, at present, see myself as someone who will be ok NOT working and I'm not on the stay-at-home mom train right now either. For us, Brian included,  having the opportunity for me to continue my career wherever we are stationed is important. I am aware that this may not be possible at some point. All I can and will do is everything in my power to make sure I've capitalized on all career-specific opportunities afforded to me until then.

I realize most people harbor good intentions when telling me why I should live with Brian, but I still find it ironic. The irony comes from the assumption that I can't fully support my husband and foster our marriage without being in the same physical location. As a military spouse I think it's even more important to be able to manage your family and support one another while apart. That'll be the nature of our relationship moving forward, especially as a pilot's wife. At least that's what I've been told.  He WILL be gone throughout our marriage. During those times I don't plan to let it [figuratively] separate my family, tear apart our marriage or minimize my support for him. So why can't choosing to live apart mean the same?

That's just my take on things though. When I asked Brian for his POV on why we live apart he gave me the short and sweet Brian version:

 

1. You wouldn't he happy here doing nothing.

2. You deserve to pursue your dreams too. As your partner, I should do what I can to make that happen.

3. You went to school for a reason. Use those degrees.

Love that man of mine. All in all, B and I are satisfied with our decision to live apart. We're both able to pursue our career endeavors and support each other and our marriage along the way. It's not easy, there are definitely pros and cons to the geo-bachelor life (I'll share those next week), but it is worth it...to us...for now.


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What's It Like Being a Marine's Wife?

DIFFERENT FOR EVERY SPOUSE. NORMAL. EXCITING.

 

This is the only wife I've been, so I don't know any different. Brian and I will have been married 7 months on Feb. 7th. During that time we've been what one familiar with military slang would call "geo-bachelors". This simply means we live in separate places, geographical bachelors. For us that means one of us lives in VA and the other in FL. This is our normal. I could tell you it's the worst thing ever and I can't live without Brian but I'd be lying. We both have chosen to fully support one another in our career endeavors. At present, those endeavors leave us 1000 mi apart. While I do wish I saw him much more often and we were together in OUR home, I can't minimize the value living apart has given us. Brian is able to focus on flight school fully with minimal distractions from me [most days]. I am able to focus on my career as well, gaining as much experience as I can in my respective fields until it comes time for me to make the move with him. When's that? Best estimate: 1 to 1.5 years from now OR when he gets a permanent duty station, whichever comes first. So we embrace it, live it, and make it work to the best of our abilities. What we've chosen to do isn't for everyone, but we're both truly invested in making it work, so it does.

 

Living apart means planning trips to see one another. Those usually tend to fall around holidays or gaps in either of our work schedules. Sometimes they can be random, but more often than not they are planned in advance. So far the longest we've gone without visiting one another has been 3 months. Not terrible when you look at our future options, but it was difficult at the time. I love my trips to FL though. I get to see B in his element and socialize with lovely pilots' spouses. It's all fun and games (plus catching up on sleep), so it feels more like vacation than anything.
 

Paintball in Pensacola, FL

I love the Marine community I've experience thus far! I live close to a Marine base in VA and recently started volunteering with the L.I.N.K.S. program there. The program is essentially an intro to the Marine Corps lifestyle and that specific base. I met two of my closest milspouse friends through the L.I.N.K.S. course I took in July '16, so it only felt right to share that experience moving forward. I also feel through immersing myself in the Marine community now I can better understand my husband when it comes to Marine Corps demands. So far, so good in that respect. I'm still on the Marine Corps acronym struggle bus, but I'm getting there! There's a lot to this lifestyle that I've yet to learn and understand but I'm excited to take this journey with B and I love being his wife!!

 

USMC Birthday Ball - Nov. 2016

 

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