On the Horizons - March 2017

VISITING BRIAN. PMP EXAM. SPRING CLEANING.

I feel like nothing new has really been going on these days. I work, workout, work some more, sleep and REPEAT. So while nothing new is currently going down, I have some things to look forward to in the coming month!

I haven't seen Brian since January 3rd, so we're due for a visit. In 1-2 weeks, I should be flying down to see him and I. can't. wait! While I don't know the exact date just yet, the plan is for me to fly down the weekend after he finishes primary flight school. I'm hoping for this weekend but based on the weather down there its not looking like he'll be able to get all his required flights in this week. If he graduates next week, the pressure is on me to decide whether or not to go. Why wouldn't I go?! Because the following Monday I take my Project Management Professional (PMP) exam and I KNOW I won't do any review while I'm down there. Brian says he'll make me study...yeahhhh right.

I've been studying for awhile to take my PMP exam, I've pushed back my test date a few times out of fear of failing, BUT I've finally decided to suck it up and go for it. If I fail, I fail and I reboot to take it again. I'm fairly confident I know my stuff  and I score decent on the practice exams but I still get anxious about under performing on the test. Regardless of the outcome, I plan to get my PMP certification by summer 2017. Pray for me!!

In March I also plan to tackle spring cleaning. This may not seem like a serious event to some, but to my organized, moderately obsessive self, it is. I'm looking to declutter and redecorate my closet and bedroom and provide these spaces with more organization. When I'm more organized, life is just better. Stay tuned for a post or two on how that goes.

What's Your February/March 2017 Workout Routine?

BEACHBODY WORKOUTS. JOG/RUN. LIFT. CYCLE.

My current workout routine centers around my current 2 goals: (1) Build muscle, and (2) Prepare for my May/June races; Semper5ive and Tough Mudder, respectively. Another bit about me...I thoroughly enjoy checklists and plans. For that reason, I utilize routines that are laid out for me with specific dates and/or schedules built in.

I'm currently in Week 3 of the T25 Gamma schedule. I complete these workouts 5x/week. Depending on my work schedule, I may double up 2 workouts in a day to make sure between Sunday and Saturday I get all 5 workouts in. Sometimes it rolls into the next week. Not a big deal (to me) as long as they never roll into a third week. I also do a majority of these workouts with 2 coworkers during our lunch break or after work. So while this is probably a part of my routine I could drop, it's fun to workout with coworkers and keep one another motivated.

For my jog/runs I follow the C210K app (aka Couch to 10K). The routines for the C210K app include warm-up and cool-down walks with run/walk intervals in between. The run time increases each week, until you're no longer walking at all. A week consists of 3 runs. I chose to do my runs this way so I don't get bored. While I can run 3+ mi now without stopping, I'd get bored doing that from now until my races PLUS once a run is complete, I get to check it off (in the app). #WINNING! On occasion I'll go off plan and just run without intervals.

 I lift 4-5x / week, targeting a specific area of the body each time. If I get a 5th lift in, it's either a second Leg day or a second Shoulders day. I'd say my weakest area right now is legs, so that's the one I SHOULD be doubling up on but Leg days are rough to complete 2x/ week with runs...& cycle class, for me anyways.

 Last thing I've been doing is cycle classes, and this is mostly because I teach it. I primarily teach once per week, and occasionally 2 or 3 times. I try getting to cycle classes outside of where I teach. Not only to get in more cardio, but to see how other instructors teach and pick up on cue and instruction ideas. Getting to other classes is a bonus though and not on my weekly requirement list.

So that's the routine for now. If I were to make a prediction of how this would change if I were in bikini prep mode, I'd imagine less cardio and most rest days. Since I have the races to train for, cutting/minimizing cardio won't be on my agenda until after June, at which point in time I'll OFFICIALLY start bikini prep, which will give me about 15-18 weeks of prep time (depending on which competition I decide to do). I'll update you the next time I change my routine!

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What Are the Pros and Cons of Being a Geo-Bachelor?

PROS: INDEPENDENCE. FOCUS. FINANCES. APPLICATION. COMMUNICATION.
CONS: UNCERTAINTY. TRAVEL. INTIMACY. COMMUNICATION.

I am almost certain there are articles that present research based stats/figures as to what the cost and benefit of living separate from your spouse are or could be. This is not one of those articles. My pros and cons are strictly experience-based, from my own personal archive of experiences. Feel free to share your own in the comments!

I'll start with the positive aspects of geo-bachelordom <-- that's not a word:

• Independence. The great philosopher, Webbie, once said, "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that mean, mayne?". He's actually not a philosopher. He's a rapper. The lyrics to that song resonate with how I feel about myself though. Maybe not ALL the lyrics to that song...don't judge me. Moving on. Being a married woman who lives apart from her husband has definitely engaged my independent side MUCH more. I can and do do things for myself and by myself more often than not. I ask Brian for nothing because I can physically and financially take care of myself. That DOES NOT mean Brian doesn't provide or take care of me. He does. He's a giving unselfish man *cough* most days *cough*, but I don't NEED him to do or buy things for me. The same goes in reverse. We're both very much capable of functioning without the other. That sounds bad, but it's true. Don't read too much into it. All I'm saying is we can handle life without the other's physical and financial assistance. Now if you're worried about how we will coalesce once we do cohabitate, don't worry. We will judiciously utilize the power of compromise. If that doesn't work, he'll just do what I say. KIDDING!! *smug sideways grin*
• Focus. When Brian is not around I am SO. MUCH. MORE. PRODUCTIVE. Now this may be a 'con' of the geo-bachelor life because I feel like I'm less productive when I see him because all I want to do is spend every single second with him, but we're in the pro section so let me continue on that note. My productivity is amazing when Brian isn't around. I workout more. I work more. I'm more focused on my work and completing tasks.  I'm sure this will change and I will be able to be as productive and focused as I am with or without Brian around, but such is my life now. I also feel that my absence helps him stay focused on his flight school studies. Primarily because I'm not trying to make him scratch my back or spend time with me 24/7. When I visit him, I imagine [and can verify], he studies less. In conclusion, I think my absence benefits his test scores.
• Finances. Due to the fact Brian and I both work, our finances are not stressed. We are able to operate our budgets separate from one another. All this means is we can sustain our lifestyles, independent of the other's finances, solely because I am working in VA.
• Application. This is a HUGE pro for me. I spent the majority of my life in school. The usual K-12th grade years, 4 years for undergrad #1, 2 years for undergrad #2, and 2 years for my Masters. All that time in school and by golly, I want to apply it and get paid for it!! My certifications in Personal Training and Group Exercise offer me "side hustle" potential so that I ALWAYS have options, but I prefer working in the fields where my degrees are relevant and applicable. In VA I'm guaranteed that ability.
• Communication. This is on the con list too, but as for it being a pro..our communication has improved tremendously. We talk daily and have figured out better ways to communicate with one another. For example, Brian is a terrible texter. I used to get extremely offended and upset when he wouldn't respond or would take 8452894382 hours to reply. He now tries to respond to my text or at least acknowledge them and I'm less offended because I know he's busy with work, napping, working out or he really is ignoring me but will apologize later. If I really want to talk to him or share something important I know to email or call him. On the other end, I used to fall asleep on the phone or zone out and not listen to him. That irked him, and rightfully so. He now knows the signs of my tiredness and I know it's best to speak for only 5 min even if I wish we could talk longer. Quality over quantity on that one. It's not exact rocket science, but it's helped make each of us more excepting of how the other best communicates and remains engaged. I still get annoyed at times as does he, but we're growing our communication skills and that's a beautiful thing.

Moving on to the drawbacks of this lifestyle:

• Uncertainty. I'm typically never certain of the next time we'll see each other. We try to make it happen as often as possible but it really hinges on when I have enough saved up leave to get away OR he gets approval. It's one of the biggest issues we face when trying to see one another. We make it work, but it's proven extremely difficult to navigate a couple times.
• Travel. Now B and I both enjoy traveling BUT paying to see one another gets old after awhile. Especially flying in/out of Pensacola, FL. Small airport = bigger price tag to get/leave there. We do it and it doesn't kill us but it'll be nice when we don't have to fork out that money to see one another.
• Intimacy. I'm not going into excess detail here, but this encompasses more than just physical intimacy, people. It's emotional intimacy as well. Lucky for us, neither of us ranks 'Physical Touch' extremely high on our Love Language totem poles. If that were the case, I imagine this lifestyle would be harder to manage. It is hard not being able to be as intimate with one another as we'd like. I'm sure you can relate if you have a significant other that you haven't been able to see or touch in awhile. It's hard to not be able to hug or cuddle when all you know the other one needs is some reassurance more than just words over the phone. For us, touch is an automatic conflict diffuser/defuser?! It doesn't make the conflict go away but it does help soften us each up so that we're better able to communicate through the conflict. For example (and this is a VERY trivial one), Brian accidentally dried my LulaRoe leggings in the dryer. If you have LLR leggings and have done this before, you know this takes away the buttery feeling that makes them so well-loved. I know he didn't mean to mess them up, he didn't know any better, he was trying to help by doing the laundry AND he apologized, but I still mentally wanted to roundhouse kick him...Mortal Combat style. He then hugged me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. IMMEDIATELY, all I mentally wanted to do is flick him in the Adam's apple. Conflict defused. He still owes me a pair of leggings though. I haven't forgotten, Brian Edward.  Also violence is never the answer. I don't condone it. I'm just speaking my truths here. I realize I mentally overreacted. I do that sometimes.  
• Communication. While our communication has gotten better, it's not perfect. Text messages don't convey tone and phone calls don't convey body language. I MUCH prefer face to face communication with B, but it's not possible often, even when we try. We primarily talk when one or the other is driving too/from work or at night. Brian prefers to stay up late and sleep in. I opt for the 4 am wake up and 9 pm bedtime. While we only have an hr time difference, it matters. In the year that we've been living in separate states, I can count on one hand the amount of times we've done Skype/Google Hangout sessions. The struggle is real. Not THAT real, but I mean it's really annoying sometimes.  

So for us, the pros outweigh the cons. I didn't get Brian's opinion on this so he or I will comment those below sometime soon. Again, feel free to comment with your own experiences, advice and tips. I'd love to hear them!!

 

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Why Don't You Live With Your Husband?

VALUE. OPPORTUNITY. PURPOSE.

If I had a dollar for every time someone directly or indirectly asked me this question...I'd have thousands of dollars. JK. Only hundreds, but you get my point.

WARNING: You may not agree with what I'm about to say on this question, that's fine. When reading, please remember this is why I don't live with my husband. Everyone is different and one size doesn't fit all. I mean no offense. <3

 

When Brian and I first started dating almost 6 years ago, I had 2 jobs. Since then I haven't had less than 2. Max has been 5, with the average being 3. I don't take for granted being able to work or being able to work multiple jobs. I enjoy being able to financially provide for all my needs and some of my wants. I find value in the work that I'm doing. Most importantly, I feel my jobs provide a greater purpose for the skills I've acquired through school and past experiences, in and outside of my work environments.

Remaining in VA to work within my career field will [hopefully] afford me greater opportunities for career-specific work when I do finally live with Brian. That is one of the primary reasons I remain where I am. I don't, at present, see myself as someone who will be ok NOT working and I'm not on the stay-at-home mom train right now either. For us, Brian included,  having the opportunity for me to continue my career wherever we are stationed is important. I am aware that this may not be possible at some point. All I can and will do is everything in my power to make sure I've capitalized on all career-specific opportunities afforded to me until then.

I realize most people harbor good intentions when telling me why I should live with Brian, but I still find it ironic. The irony comes from the assumption that I can't fully support my husband and foster our marriage without being in the same physical location. As a military spouse I think it's even more important to be able to manage your family and support one another while apart. That'll be the nature of our relationship moving forward, especially as a pilot's wife. At least that's what I've been told.  He WILL be gone throughout our marriage. During those times I don't plan to let it [figuratively] separate my family, tear apart our marriage or minimize my support for him. So why can't choosing to live apart mean the same?

That's just my take on things though. When I asked Brian for his POV on why we live apart he gave me the short and sweet Brian version:

 

1. You wouldn't he happy here doing nothing.

2. You deserve to pursue your dreams too. As your partner, I should do what I can to make that happen.

3. You went to school for a reason. Use those degrees.

Love that man of mine. All in all, B and I are satisfied with our decision to live apart. We're both able to pursue our career endeavors and support each other and our marriage along the way. It's not easy, there are definitely pros and cons to the geo-bachelor life (I'll share those next week), but it is worth it...to us...for now.


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How Was Whole30?

REFRESHING. AN IDEAL RESET.

Today I finish up my second round of Whole30. The first time I completed Whole30 was August/September 2016. Back then it seemed like more of a chore. I think that was because I didn't know what to expect and I anticipated each day with the W30 road map. It was fun and delicious but getting to day 30 seemed so hard. Not this time. I simply planned my meals/snacks ahead, ate what I had and kept it moving. If it hadn't been for MyFitnessPal app telling me my logging streak (I started tracking my food consistently on W30 - Day 1), I wouldn't have known which day was which!

This time around it was significantly easier to manage. The most challenging part seemed to be making sure when I went out with friends I did my research before hand. Luckily, all of the friends I ate out with during this round were nice enough to go to places where it was easiest for me to piece together a W30 compliant meal. Like round one, my energy has significantly improved and I feel better when completing workouts. I have noticed my skin is and my mood is...well I'm still moody. Lol.

I did have one unintentional slip this round. On Super Bowl Sunday, Day 28, I had ribs with sugar on them!! It wasn't until after I ate them that I knew they had sugar on them. My cousin made BBQ ribs but he made some just with the rub (no BBQ sauce) for me. I didn't even ask what was in the rub because I automatically assumed it was all dry seasoning ingredients and that sugar was in the BBQ sauce and ONLY the BBQ sauce. I was wrong and he was overly apologetic. Lol. That night I paid for it with a headache but accidents happen and I don't consider this round a loss because of it. [Though by W30 standards you are supposed to restart from Day 1 after a slip up. I do realize this.]

So what's next for my diet? Well I'm not quite at the point where I want to begin my "bikini prep diet", primarily because I want to see how I manage formulating an ideal diet on my own. I'm highly interested in following a macro diet for this bikini prep so I'm looking to give that a try for now. Right now my goal  is to increase muscle mass. That means I'll need to increase my protein intake. I need to do more research before I decide my starting macro numbers but that's where I plan to take it from here! Until I figure that out, I'll stick with W30/paleo compliant meals and snacks. I'll be giving myself SOME flexibility: one cheat meal / week. But I'm not flying off the deep end. I'm pleased with how far I've come and I don't want to go backwards. Not to mention, working out after eating junk food IS. THE. WORST. All in all I'm happy with where this round of W30 has taken me and where I'm going from here!

Feel free to share if you have any tips on beginning a IIFYM diet.

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What's It Like Being a Marine's Wife?

DIFFERENT FOR EVERY SPOUSE. NORMAL. EXCITING.

 

This is the only wife I've been, so I don't know any different. Brian and I will have been married 7 months on Feb. 7th. During that time we've been what one familiar with military slang would call "geo-bachelors". This simply means we live in separate places, geographical bachelors. For us that means one of us lives in VA and the other in FL. This is our normal. I could tell you it's the worst thing ever and I can't live without Brian but I'd be lying. We both have chosen to fully support one another in our career endeavors. At present, those endeavors leave us 1000 mi apart. While I do wish I saw him much more often and we were together in OUR home, I can't minimize the value living apart has given us. Brian is able to focus on flight school fully with minimal distractions from me [most days]. I am able to focus on my career as well, gaining as much experience as I can in my respective fields until it comes time for me to make the move with him. When's that? Best estimate: 1 to 1.5 years from now OR when he gets a permanent duty station, whichever comes first. So we embrace it, live it, and make it work to the best of our abilities. What we've chosen to do isn't for everyone, but we're both truly invested in making it work, so it does.

 

Living apart means planning trips to see one another. Those usually tend to fall around holidays or gaps in either of our work schedules. Sometimes they can be random, but more often than not they are planned in advance. So far the longest we've gone without visiting one another has been 3 months. Not terrible when you look at our future options, but it was difficult at the time. I love my trips to FL though. I get to see B in his element and socialize with lovely pilots' spouses. It's all fun and games (plus catching up on sleep), so it feels more like vacation than anything.
 

Paintball in Pensacola, FL

I love the Marine community I've experience thus far! I live close to a Marine base in VA and recently started volunteering with the L.I.N.K.S. program there. The program is essentially an intro to the Marine Corps lifestyle and that specific base. I met two of my closest milspouse friends through the L.I.N.K.S. course I took in July '16, so it only felt right to share that experience moving forward. I also feel through immersing myself in the Marine community now I can better understand my husband when it comes to Marine Corps demands. So far, so good in that respect. I'm still on the Marine Corps acronym struggle bus, but I'm getting there! There's a lot to this lifestyle that I've yet to learn and understand but I'm excited to take this journey with B and I love being his wife!!

 

USMC Birthday Ball - Nov. 2016

 

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Where Has the Time Gone?

I HAVE NO IDEA!
 

It has been approximately a year and 3 months since my last post. For real?! For real! I've been contemplating getting back on the keys (READ: back to blogging) for awhile but just never made it happen. Alas, here I am and ready to post away through 2017! Many things have changed since my last post. Let's see...I graduated with my Master's in Systems Engineering, I work 5 jobs (1 FT, 4 PT), and I also [finally] got engaged, married (and renewed my vows...I'll explain later) to B!! It's been a heck of a year and some change!



Vow Renewal w/ B - Dec. 2016 (M Harris Photography)

 



What hasn't changed? My desire to compete. I STILL want to give it a shot, which means starting back at square 1.5 because I have regressed physically. During summer 2016 I weighed more than I ever have in my life, so that was a downer. Pleased to say I've managed to get back on track and drop into a healthier weight but I've got a ways to go until I'm bikini competition ready. 

 

I decided to make a change in January, I began a routine consisting of Whole30, 4 lift sessions per week and T25. I've managed to keep it up for the past month and plan to pick it up a notch later this month. By no means did I jump into bikini prep mode right away. My plan is to get my health / lifestyle / mindset back on track before I begin officially prepping. Feel free to follow along as I figure it out [again] all while navigating this milspouse job-filled life I've got!

 

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