Why Don't You Live With Your Husband?

VALUE. OPPORTUNITY. PURPOSE.

If I had a dollar for every time someone directly or indirectly asked me this question...I'd have thousands of dollars. JK. Only hundreds, but you get my point.

WARNING: You may not agree with what I'm about to say on this question, that's fine. When reading, please remember this is why I don't live with my husband. Everyone is different and one size doesn't fit all. I mean no offense. <3

 

When Brian and I first started dating almost 6 years ago, I had 2 jobs. Since then I haven't had less than 2. Max has been 5, with the average being 3. I don't take for granted being able to work or being able to work multiple jobs. I enjoy being able to financially provide for all my needs and some of my wants. I find value in the work that I'm doing. Most importantly, I feel my jobs provide a greater purpose for the skills I've acquired through school and past experiences, in and outside of my work environments.

Remaining in VA to work within my career field will [hopefully] afford me greater opportunities for career-specific work when I do finally live with Brian. That is one of the primary reasons I remain where I am. I don't, at present, see myself as someone who will be ok NOT working and I'm not on the stay-at-home mom train right now either. For us, Brian included,  having the opportunity for me to continue my career wherever we are stationed is important. I am aware that this may not be possible at some point. All I can and will do is everything in my power to make sure I've capitalized on all career-specific opportunities afforded to me until then.

I realize most people harbor good intentions when telling me why I should live with Brian, but I still find it ironic. The irony comes from the assumption that I can't fully support my husband and foster our marriage without being in the same physical location. As a military spouse I think it's even more important to be able to manage your family and support one another while apart. That'll be the nature of our relationship moving forward, especially as a pilot's wife. At least that's what I've been told.  He WILL be gone throughout our marriage. During those times I don't plan to let it [figuratively] separate my family, tear apart our marriage or minimize my support for him. So why can't choosing to live apart mean the same?

That's just my take on things though. When I asked Brian for his POV on why we live apart he gave me the short and sweet Brian version:

 

1. You wouldn't he happy here doing nothing.

2. You deserve to pursue your dreams too. As your partner, I should do what I can to make that happen.

3. You went to school for a reason. Use those degrees.

Love that man of mine. All in all, B and I are satisfied with our decision to live apart. We're both able to pursue our career endeavors and support each other and our marriage along the way. It's not easy, there are definitely pros and cons to the geo-bachelor life (I'll share those next week), but it is worth it...to us...for now.


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How Was Whole30?

REFRESHING. AN IDEAL RESET.

Today I finish up my second round of Whole30. The first time I completed Whole30 was August/September 2016. Back then it seemed like more of a chore. I think that was because I didn't know what to expect and I anticipated each day with the W30 road map. It was fun and delicious but getting to day 30 seemed so hard. Not this time. I simply planned my meals/snacks ahead, ate what I had and kept it moving. If it hadn't been for MyFitnessPal app telling me my logging streak (I started tracking my food consistently on W30 - Day 1), I wouldn't have known which day was which!

This time around it was significantly easier to manage. The most challenging part seemed to be making sure when I went out with friends I did my research before hand. Luckily, all of the friends I ate out with during this round were nice enough to go to places where it was easiest for me to piece together a W30 compliant meal. Like round one, my energy has significantly improved and I feel better when completing workouts. I have noticed my skin is and my mood is...well I'm still moody. Lol.

I did have one unintentional slip this round. On Super Bowl Sunday, Day 28, I had ribs with sugar on them!! It wasn't until after I ate them that I knew they had sugar on them. My cousin made BBQ ribs but he made some just with the rub (no BBQ sauce) for me. I didn't even ask what was in the rub because I automatically assumed it was all dry seasoning ingredients and that sugar was in the BBQ sauce and ONLY the BBQ sauce. I was wrong and he was overly apologetic. Lol. That night I paid for it with a headache but accidents happen and I don't consider this round a loss because of it. [Though by W30 standards you are supposed to restart from Day 1 after a slip up. I do realize this.]

So what's next for my diet? Well I'm not quite at the point where I want to begin my "bikini prep diet", primarily because I want to see how I manage formulating an ideal diet on my own. I'm highly interested in following a macro diet for this bikini prep so I'm looking to give that a try for now. Right now my goal  is to increase muscle mass. That means I'll need to increase my protein intake. I need to do more research before I decide my starting macro numbers but that's where I plan to take it from here! Until I figure that out, I'll stick with W30/paleo compliant meals and snacks. I'll be giving myself SOME flexibility: one cheat meal / week. But I'm not flying off the deep end. I'm pleased with how far I've come and I don't want to go backwards. Not to mention, working out after eating junk food IS. THE. WORST. All in all I'm happy with where this round of W30 has taken me and where I'm going from here!

Feel free to share if you have any tips on beginning a IIFYM diet.

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What's It Like Being a Marine's Wife?

DIFFERENT FOR EVERY SPOUSE. NORMAL. EXCITING.

 

This is the only wife I've been, so I don't know any different. Brian and I will have been married 7 months on Feb. 7th. During that time we've been what one familiar with military slang would call "geo-bachelors". This simply means we live in separate places, geographical bachelors. For us that means one of us lives in VA and the other in FL. This is our normal. I could tell you it's the worst thing ever and I can't live without Brian but I'd be lying. We both have chosen to fully support one another in our career endeavors. At present, those endeavors leave us 1000 mi apart. While I do wish I saw him much more often and we were together in OUR home, I can't minimize the value living apart has given us. Brian is able to focus on flight school fully with minimal distractions from me [most days]. I am able to focus on my career as well, gaining as much experience as I can in my respective fields until it comes time for me to make the move with him. When's that? Best estimate: 1 to 1.5 years from now OR when he gets a permanent duty station, whichever comes first. So we embrace it, live it, and make it work to the best of our abilities. What we've chosen to do isn't for everyone, but we're both truly invested in making it work, so it does.

 

Living apart means planning trips to see one another. Those usually tend to fall around holidays or gaps in either of our work schedules. Sometimes they can be random, but more often than not they are planned in advance. So far the longest we've gone without visiting one another has been 3 months. Not terrible when you look at our future options, but it was difficult at the time. I love my trips to FL though. I get to see B in his element and socialize with lovely pilots' spouses. It's all fun and games (plus catching up on sleep), so it feels more like vacation than anything.
 

Paintball in Pensacola, FL

I love the Marine community I've experience thus far! I live close to a Marine base in VA and recently started volunteering with the L.I.N.K.S. program there. The program is essentially an intro to the Marine Corps lifestyle and that specific base. I met two of my closest milspouse friends through the L.I.N.K.S. course I took in July '16, so it only felt right to share that experience moving forward. I also feel through immersing myself in the Marine community now I can better understand my husband when it comes to Marine Corps demands. So far, so good in that respect. I'm still on the Marine Corps acronym struggle bus, but I'm getting there! There's a lot to this lifestyle that I've yet to learn and understand but I'm excited to take this journey with B and I love being his wife!!

 

USMC Birthday Ball - Nov. 2016

 

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Where Has the Time Gone?

I HAVE NO IDEA!
 

It has been approximately a year and 3 months since my last post. For real?! For real! I've been contemplating getting back on the keys (READ: back to blogging) for awhile but just never made it happen. Alas, here I am and ready to post away through 2017! Many things have changed since my last post. Let's see...I graduated with my Master's in Systems Engineering, I work 5 jobs (1 FT, 4 PT), and I also [finally] got engaged, married (and renewed my vows...I'll explain later) to B!! It's been a heck of a year and some change!



Vow Renewal w/ B - Dec. 2016 (M Harris Photography)

 



What hasn't changed? My desire to compete. I STILL want to give it a shot, which means starting back at square 1.5 because I have regressed physically. During summer 2016 I weighed more than I ever have in my life, so that was a downer. Pleased to say I've managed to get back on track and drop into a healthier weight but I've got a ways to go until I'm bikini competition ready. 

 

I decided to make a change in January, I began a routine consisting of Whole30, 4 lift sessions per week and T25. I've managed to keep it up for the past month and plan to pick it up a notch later this month. By no means did I jump into bikini prep mode right away. My plan is to get my health / lifestyle / mindset back on track before I begin officially prepping. Feel free to follow along as I figure it out [again] all while navigating this milspouse job-filled life I've got!

 

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The Decision

HERE IT GOES...


Over the past month I had been fighting the urge to make a decision on whether or not to compete. I whole-heartedly believed I could tackle work, school and competition prep at the same time. Turns out I can, but not well or safely. The first two weeks of October I worked 60 hrs / week. That was just the nature of the beast at the time due to the overwhelming need to hire new staff. It was definitely NOT a norm I was accustomed to, nor one that I expected. I was still meeting my workout requirements, which averaged out to be 3 hours of gym time / day and I was functioning well enough in my two grad school courses. I was doing what I thought I needed to do, but it wasn't helping matters any. Sleep was almost nonexistent, headaches became an every day occurrence and my overall health, body and mind started to deteriorate.

This past weekend I made the decision to NOT compete on November 14. It still sucks even talking about it now because I still want to compete so badly. Knowing the state of my body and mind after those two weeks, the progress I've made this year and the effects of my actions on others, I realize it was neither safe nor smart for me to continue for this competition. That being said, I will be competing in 2016 and will continue to train with my coach until then. Guess that means this blog stays around a little longer. =P

FUN FACT: I ordered my custom made competition suit 10 days before I made the decision to not compete this year. Today I get an update on its progress. Bittersweet. BUT if you have any doubts on whether or not I will actually compete in 2016, Google the average bikini competition suit price...Ha. I'm competing. Trust me on this one. The question isn't if I'll compete...simply, when?

Highlights - Week 7

Sunday, September 27 - Saturday, October 3

LIMBO. FALL WEDDING SEASON.

Ohhhh Week 7. The week I've been most nervous about for quite some time because it comes before Week 6. Dun. Dun. Dunnnnn. You know what I found out though...Week 6 is NOT the end all be all deadline. Well. Kind of. So at the end of week 7 my coach informed me that I still have a lot of time left. A LOT OF TIME LEFT?! Coach say what?! I'm over here freaking out and my coach thinks I have a lot of time. Hmmmm. OK. I mean, he would know, right? He's the expert! So I shall take his word for it. He said it is too soon to tell if I am ready to compete or not, BUT this is a step in the right direction. He didn't flat out tell me I wouldn't be ready or I'm too far behind, so I'm hopeful. I have time. I can do this. Woosah. I'm in limbo at the moment. I may compete (if I'm ready). I may not compete. I shall just continue to do my best and see what happens!!

What did end up happening though was I was put in contact with my coach's wife (second half of the coaching team) to begin work on ordering my bikini!! Details to come in Week 6. So exciting though! I think this was the first time I came to realize I will be wearing the least amount of clothing I've EVER worn in front of complete strangers. I'd like to think I'm generally a modest person when it comes to attire, so this is definitely outside of my norm / comfort zone but I'm going for it!! I'm so pumped and terrified!

The end of week 7 also kicked off the start of the Fall Wedding season. I love weddings! Brian and I attended a wedding for one of his friends in Charlottesville. The weather was cool and rainy, but the wedding, reception and bride were beautiful. It was a good time and a nice break away from the norm. The food was really good as well. I tried not to crash and burn my diet on that one. I think I did well enough. No mini delicious burgers or chicken and waffle bites for me. I must confess I wanted to body slam Brian when he asked if I wanted one. I didn't though. Not proper wedding etiquette. I'm sure he meant well. He'd know better if I was more consistent, so I'll take responsibility for that one. I'm rambling. I digress. In summary, CONGRATS Rachel & Rob!! Jessica and Rashad are up next in 2 weeks. Yay for fall wedding season!!

At the Wedding Reception w/ Brian

Highlights - Week 8

Sunday, September 20 - Saturday, September 26

CONSISTENCY YIELDS RESULTS. TURNOVER. MIRACLE NOODLES. GRANDPA'S 80TH!

Sorry for the delay. Life got a bit hectic in Week 7, which delayed me posting Week 8 Highlights. No fears! I'm back in the blog game...

This week's consistency was on point! Yay! Lucky for me it showed. My coach was pleased with my progress and life was good, so yay for that. Still grinding it out because at Week 6 comes the final decision. Eeek! Can you tell I'm nervous?!? But I digress...for now.

Work is on level 1000 at the moment. My graduate assistant position has experienced A LOT of turnover this week. Thanks to that we'll be hiring new fitness attendants to work in our facilities! Yayyyyyy! Right?! Kinda of. Hiring is a LONG process, of which I am in charge. In the meantime, while we are hiring new attendants, all unassigned shifts are falling to the coverage of myself, the other grad assistant and the office assistant. We have a pretty solid plan worked out, BUT it generally means more hours of work. We'll manage! I can't deny that it is a bit overwhelming at times though. Oh well! All part of the job.

Awhile back I found out about these 0 calorie "noodles" called Miracle Noodles. Figured I'd give them a try and see how it went. Loved them! They don't taste like anything on their own. They take on the flavor of whatever seasoning/marinade/dressing you add to them. I'm not sure if it's a mind trick or not, but it helps me feel like I'm eating more while having a minimal effect on my caloric intake, which makes me happy. I chalk that up to a meal plan win!! I've ordered enought to last me the remainder of my prep. I'm oh so serious.

Favorite part of Week 8 was my Grandpa's 80th birthday dinner on Saturday!! I still can't believe he is 80. He looks so good for his age (see below if you think I tell lies)! Love that man so much!! <3 The whole family celebrated at my grandparent's house with dinner and cake.

Always a good time when my family gets together. We even enjoyed a friendly game of Guesstures, in which my team won. That was to be expected. I don't joke when it comes to games. Go hard or go home!! I'm kidding...no I'm not.



The winning Guesstures team!!